Is your Teen Just Shy or Struggling with Social Anxiety?

What is Social Anxiety?

Social Anxiety Disorder (also known as social phobia) is when your teen feels a constant, intense fear or anxiety about social situations because they worry about being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated. This fear often leads them to avoid situations that cause anxiety, or they might face those situations with a lot of distress. As a parent, it can be tough to tell whether your teen is just shy or if they’re actually dealing with social anxiety. But if your teen avoids social situations, dreads speaking up in class, or seems overly self-critical, it might be more than just shyness or introversion.

When to Seek Professional Help for Social Anxiety

If your teen daughter is avoiding social situations and you notice she’s struggling with physical signs of anxiety, it’s a strong sign that she may be dealing with social anxiety, not just shyness. Physical symptoms like sweating, dizziness, nausea, a racing heartbeat, shaking, or fidgeting are all common signs of anxiety. These symptoms can start affecting her daily life: her school performance, ability to make or keep friends, and even simple tasks like ordering food at a restaurant, going into stores by herself, making phone calls, or walking alone in the hallway at school. These are the most common struggles reported by teens in my private practice, and they can really start to limit her everyday experiences.

Understanding Social Anxiety in Teen Girls

Both boys and girls can deal with social anxiety, but girls really feel it more intensely. The National Institute of Mental Health says that about 9% of adolescents have social anxiety disorder, and girls are twice as likely to experience it compared to boys. From my years of counseling teen girls, I’d say that more than half of the girls I’ve worked with have faced this deep fear of judgment and embarrassment, especially during those tricky middle school years and into high school. I can’t emphasize enough how crucial it is to get help early on. The sooner you support your daughter with her anxiety, the better it will be for her confidence, for making meaningful friendships, and having great social experiences.

The Impact of Social Media on Social Anxiety

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about why social anxiety is such a big issue for our teen girls these days. I really believe a lot of it is magnified by social media. It’s so true that comparison is the thief of joy! We know that even as adults, right? But for our girls, fitting in and feeling accepted is everything. Social media puts so much pressure on them to look perfect. Every day, they’re scrolling through edited photos of their friends, and it just makes them feel more insecure and scared of what others think. It’s tough when “likes” and “follows” seem to define how popular they are. Our girls end up feeling self-conscious not just about how they look but also about how their voices sound and how their personalities they come across. Remember when we were teenagers? We didn’t have to worry about every little thing we did being out there for everyone to see and judge. It’s a whole new world for them, and it can be overwhelming.

How Perfectionism Fuels Social Anxiety

I often think of perfectionism as the sibling of anxiety. They really do go hand in hand. If your daughter is dealing with perfectionism, there’s a good chance she’s also struggling with anxiety. Many teens with social anxiety feel like they have to say the “right” thing in every conversation, which can be so stressful. You might notice your daughter being really quiet or reserved during conversations. She may even describe “freezing up” in social situations, almost like her brain just shuts down.

In my private practice, I hear this often and with further discussion and assessment we usually uncover it’s because she is silently struggling with anxiety, and underneath that, there are core beliefs she holds about herself that contribute to her feelings. That’s why a root-cause approach to therapy is so important. Sure, coping skills and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) are crucial for tackling perfectionism and social anxiety, but getting to the heart of those beliefs is where your daughter can find real, lasting relief. If you’re curious about core beliefs and how they can impact your daughter, feel free to reach out to me for a consultation. I’d love to help!

The Role of Therapy in Treating Social Anxiety

If social anxiety is holding your teen back from having fulfilling friendships and experiences, therapy can really make a difference. In counseling, I work with teens to help them understand and challenge their anxious thoughts. We practice facing those scary situations, build confidence in social interactions, and develop healthy ways to cope with anxiety. Together, we’ll dig into any core beliefs that might be keeping her stuck in that tough cycle of anxiety. The goal is to replace those beliefs with ones that are more accurate so she can feel more confident, and free to enjoy her adolescent years.

I also incorporate social skills training, where we practice, and role play situations and conversations that she may be avoiding outside of therapy. Exposure builds confidence, and confidence is crucial to overcome social anxiety. Your teen doesn’t have to struggle with social anxiety. With the right support, she can break free from this anxiety and step into confidence! Ready to help your teen take the first step? Schedule a free consultation call today or email me directly at ChristinaMilazzoCounseling@gmail.com.

There’s nothing I love more than seeing young girls grow into confident young women and doing and experiencing things that bring them joy and having fulfilling relationships and friendships! That’s what I’m here to help her with. I’ll also be sharing more on the blog soon about other ways you can support her in addition to getting her into counseling. Be sure to come back and check it out!

Lets Work Together- Parent Coaching Sessions

Lastly, as a fellow mom to a young girl, I really want to support parents just like you. I offer parenting coaching sessions where we can dive into practical tips and tools to help you support your child as she navigates anxiety. These sessions will give you the resources and strategies you can use in real time when she’s feeling anxious or dealing with panic attacks. I’m not just here for her. I’m here for you too! I offer individual and family counseling sessions in person in my office in Lake Mary, FL (located just outside of Orlando) and online throughout the state of Florida.