The Effects of Infertility on Marriage

Facing infertility can be an emotionally taxing journey that profoundly affects various aspects of life, especially intimate relationships. Many couples find themselves grappling with feelings of loss, frustration, and isolation, leading them to question, “Can infertility ruin a marriage?” Or maybe you’re years into your ttc journey, and you feel as if infertility has already ruined your marriage.

This journey is heavy, exhausting, and at times, it can feel like it’s pulling you and your spouse in completely different directions. It’s not just about the waiting and the doctor’s appointments. It’s the emotional toll, the unspoken grief, the strain it puts on your relationship. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that infertility doesn’t have to ruin your marriage. In fact, I believe it can actually bring you closer. Here’s what’s helped me (and what I wish I had known sooner).

You and Your Spouse Will Grieve Differently. That’s Okay.

I used to think my husband and I had to process this the same way. That if I was crying, he should be crying. If I was feeling hopeful, he should be hopeful, too. But the truth is, we grieve differently. I needed to talk about it constantly. He needed space to process. And for a while, that made me feel like he didn’t care as much as I did. But that wasn’t true. He just carried it differently. If you and your spouse aren’t on the same emotional page every day, that doesn’t mean you’re not in this together. It just means you each have your own way of handling the pain. And that’s okay.

Something to Try: Instead of expecting your spouse to feel the same way you do, ask, “How are you feeling about everything today?”—and really listen. Be patient with one another. Infertility is exhausting and sometimes these conversations to connect emotionally can feel draining. While you or your spouse may not always feel up to have these conversations to connect, they are so important to prioritize. You two need each other now more than ever.

Shame and Infertility

Infertility can make you feel helpless. And when you don’t have control, it’s easy to start blaming your body, the doctors, even your spouse. If medical challenges are on one side, guilt and shame can creep in. If no clear cause is found, frustration builds. But infertility is not your fault or your spouse’s fault. It’s something you’re facing together.

One thing that’s helped me is remembering that my husband and I are on the same team. This isn’t his problem or my problem. It’s our journey together. And no matter what happens, I don’t want this season to make us grow apart.

Something to Try: When resentment starts to creep in, pause and pray together, Even if it’s just, “God, help us through this.”

Infertility and Intimacy

At some point, intimacy starts feeling like a chore. It’s all about ovulation tracking, timing things perfectly, and suddenly, something that was once about love and connection starts feeling mechanical. And exhausting. But your marriage is about so much more than trying to conceive. And as hard as it is, finding ways to reconnect—outside of fertility talk, makes all the difference.

Something to Try: Plan a date night where you don’t talk about trying to conceive at all. Laugh. Hold hands. Remind yourselves why you fell in love in the first place.

Prayer For Infertility Christian

After years of trying to conceive and waiting it seemed like my prayers always sounded the same. “God show me your will. God, bless us with a child. To eventually, Lord, your will be done.” Perhaps you keep praying and asking God to fulfill your heart’s desire for a baby, and he’s not answering. Maybe you are genuinely starting to question if it’s even His will for you to be a mother.

The path to motherhood all seems unclear with no clear guidance on how to go about growing your family (should I adopt, should we do donor eggs? IVF? It’s all so risky, and so unclear which path to take). I want to encourage you to keep praying for discernment, for wisdom, and for God to fill you with His peace that surpasses all understanding in the waiting.

Something to try: If praying for a baby feels too painful, start with something smaller. Pray for peace. Pray for strength. Pray for unity in your marriage. Even if it’s just, “God, be near to us,” that’s enough. He hears you. He sees you. Even in the silence.

Christian Infertility Support Resources

For those seeking faith-based support, several organizations and communities offer resources tailored to the unique challenges of infertility:​

• Moms in the Making: A non-profit Christian support group that encourages and supports women on their journey to motherhood through shared hope and the truth of God’s Word. ​momsinthemaking.https://www.momsinthemaking.com/groups/
• Sarah’s Laughter: Provides support to couples struggling with infertility or pregnancy loss, offering a compassionate community and resources to navigate their journey. ​https://www.sarahslaughter.com
• Waiting in Hope Ministries: Offers biblical support to women and couples, encouraging them to find hope through Christ during their infertility journey. ​https://www.waitinginhopeinfertility.com/groups

Christian Infertility Support Near Orlando, FL

Infertility can feel so isolating, even in marriage. And while your spouse is your partner in this, they can’t meet every emotional need. Sometimes, you just need to talk to someone who gets it. Whether that’s a friend, a support group, or a counselor, having a safe space to process the emotions without placing all that weight on your spouse can be a game-changer.

And if people around you don’t know what to say? Set boundaries. You don’t have to sit through hurtful comments or well-meaning but painful advice. It’s okay to step back and protect your heart.

Christian Infertility Therapist Lake Mary, Florida

Infertility is hard enough: On your body, your heart, and your marriage. When you stay connected to your spouse and both of you process how this season of waiting is impacting you individually and together as a couple, I truly believe that it can strengthen your marriage. If you feel like infertility is testing your marriage and you don’t feel like it’s coming out any stronger, then I am here to offer professional counseling support to women and couples just like you who are feeling the weight of infertility or loss.

If you’re in the Lake Mary, Florida area and seeking counseling services tailored to women’s mental health and infertility challenges, I am here to help. I provide Christian counseling for women and families in Lake Mary, Sanford, and the surrounding Central Florida area. As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, I specialize in supporting women and teen girls through life’s challenges, including the emotional toll of infertility. I offer both in-person and online counseling sessions for clients throughout Florida.

I love helping women and couples find healing, whether that means working through the grief, strengthening your relationship, or rediscovering hope in the midst of uncertainty. You don’t have to just survive this season. You can find peace, connection, and even joy again. Reach out today if you’re ready to take that step for you and your marriage.

Let’s Connect!

Looking for counseling services? I offer in person or online counseling in the state of Florida. I would love to help you and encourage you as you pursue healing. Please email me here and lets get you the support you need.

Read more about infertility and loss counseling in Lake Mary, Sanford, Oviedo, Orlando FL and the surrounding Central Florida area https://christinamilazzocounseling.com/infertility-and-grief

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