Your Daughter Self-Esteem

As a mother, watching your daughter struggle with low self-esteem, loneliness, low confidence, and the pressure to fit in can be heart-breaking. If you’re noticing your daughter talking about feeling lonely, upset that she is single or why boys don’t like her, or starting to struggle with body-image, you may be wondering, I’m not sure what to do to help my daughter be more confident. You have tried telling her she’s beautiful and perfect just the way she is, but it just doesn’t seem to make her feel better. She’s still lonely and still struggling with self-worth.

As a mental health therapist specializing in teen girl’s mental health, I have specific things I recommend you do as a mom to help your daughter be more confident during during adolescence.

Understanding Why My Daughter Is Lonely

If your daughter is expressing feelings of loneliness, it’s important to listen to her without judgment. Let her express her feelings openly. Loneliness can stem from many factors, including social challenges, academic pressures, or changes in her personal life. Create a safe space for her to share her feelings and reassure her that it’s okay to feel this way.

Try to refrain from immediately responding with, “Don’t feel that way. You shouldn’t think that way.” Before you can correct, listen and validate her feelings. “You’re feeling sad that your friends are leaving you out. You feel lonely because all your friends have boyfriends and you don’t.” This helps her feel heard and understood. This builds connection with her. It’s only when this connection is built that she will be able to receive your compliments and words of encouragement.

How to Help My Daughter Build Confidence

Confidence isn’t something that can be handed to your daughter; it’s something she must cultivate herself. However, your guidance can make all the difference. Encourage her to finally pursue that skill or hobby that she may have previously expressed interest in. Whether it’s painting, horse back riding, cooking, playing a sport, an art class, or learning an instrument. Celebrate her efforts, not just the outcomes, to reinforce her sense of self-worth.

How to Help My Daughter with Self-Esteem

Building self-esteem is a gradual process. Engage in activities that promote positive self-reflection, such as journaling or practicing gratitude. Encourage her to participate in hobbies that bring her joy and a sense of accomplishment. Ask her to teach you something or explain or teach you about something she’s interested in that you may not know a lot about. For example, if your daughter loves Anime or video games, I encourage you to sit down next to her and ask her to teach you about it. Ask questions and be curious!

How to Help My Daughter Feel Beautiful

Help your daughter recognize her unique qualities and strengths. Compliment her on her kindness, intelligence, and creativity. Encourage her to embrace her individuality and understand that beauty isn’t defined by societal standards but by the love and kindness she shares with others. Talk to her about how today’s unrealistic beauty standards also put pressure on you as a woman and how it’s normal to compare yourself to other females. It helps her know you can relate, while also reminding her of truth- that beauty is more than the external.

Remember to practice what you preach. She is learning about beauty, relationships, and self-worth from you. She’s listening to how you talk about your yourself and your body. Remember to show yourself grace too, it’s not easy being a woman in this day and age no matter the age!

Comparison Game and Social Media

The research on social media’s impact on teen girl’s mental health cannot be ignored. Approximately 31% of teens report feeling excluded after seeing posts of friends participating in activities without them. This sense of “fear of missing out” (FOMO) can negatively affect self-esteem and increase feelings of loneliness. Limiting social media use or exposure can really help your daughter with the comparison game that comes with social media. ​

I find that most teen girls tend to experience loneliness and other mental health complaints mostly at night. If limiting social media use brings a lot of push back, perhaps start with limiting use at night. The added benefit of doing this will also lead to improvement in her sleep quality.

It’s also important to model healthy social media habits in the home. This includes everyone. So many of my teen clients tell me that they’re parents are always on their phones when they attempt to spend time with them. If you want your teen to spend less time on their phones, I recommend that you first model a balanced and mindful social media use in your own life as well.

Kid & Teen Self-Esteem Building Activities

Incorporate fun and engaging activities that promote self-esteem, such as:

• Affirmation Jar: Fill a jar with positive affirmations or Bible verses and encourage your daughter to pick one daily.
• Vision Board: Create a vision board together to visualize her goals and dreams.
• Volunteer: Helping others in some capacity has a real uplifting impact on mood and self-esteem.
• Have your child take a Spiritual Gifts Test. Having your daughter learn more about how God has given her unique gifts and abilities will help her see that there is more to her than her appearance.
• Attend a girls Bible study: Being around other girls with similar values can be a huge encouragement for your daughter.
• Workbooks for self-confidence: Faith, Confidence, and Sass: A Teenage Girl’s Guide to Self-Esteem

Seeking Professional Support: Teen Therapist in Lake Mary, FL

If you’re concerned about your daughter’s self-esteem and confidence, seeking professional support can be beneficial. Email me directly to find out more about teen girl’s counseling services right here in Central Florida. As a therapist near Lake Mary FL, I specialize in helping teen girls navigate the challenges that often come in adolescence. I offer both in-person counseling near Lake Mary, Florida and online counseling services throughout Florida. Together, we can work on building your daughter’s confidence and self-esteem!

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