Fertility Story for National Infertility Awareness Week

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. As a licensed mental health counselor specializing in women’s mental health, I’ve walked beside many women as they face infertility. As mental health counselors, we’re often trained and told not to self-disclose to our clients. However, infertility is one of those struggles that’s hard to understand until you’ve personally walked through it. With it being National Infertility Awareness Week, I’m sharing a piece of my heart and my story- my personal journey with infertility.

When I first became a part of the infertility club, I was 1 in 7 women. Now, those numbers are increasing, and 1 in 6 women are going through infertility. My hope in sharing my story is to reduce the shame, and remind other women that their pain is valid and their story matters. On a more personal level, my hope is for the women that trust me as their therapist, to know that I am familiar with many of the feelings and struggles that they are personally experiencing as they invite me into their infertility stories.

For much of my infertility, I suffered in silence. Smiling on the outside, but silently grieving and feeling as if infertility was chipping away at the woman I once was. It’s been five years since I received my infertility diagnosis. I am now an adoptive mom through adoption (spoiler alert) and I am deeply committed to supporting women and couples as they personally navigate infertility and pregnancy loss. Here is my infertility story in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week.

Low AMH High FSH

My husband and I got married in 2016 in Sanford, Florida. After three years of marriage, we decided to try to conceive. Due to getting married a little later in life, I wanted to make sure everything “looked good” with a fertility doctor. To my shock and dismay, I was given an infertility diagnosis of low AMH (low ovarian reserve) and high FSH. Low AMH (Anti-Müllerian Hormone) and high FSH (Follicle-Stimulating Hormone) levels are often indicators of diminished ovarian reserve and can impact fertility, especially in women trying to conceive.

Low Ovarian Reserve IVF Success Rates

The fertility doctor proceeded to tell me that I had a less than three percent chance of conceiving naturally, and a five percent chance of conceiving through IVF. And if the news couldn’t get any worse, he told me I would be in menopause by age 40. I remember listening to the doctor speak, seeing his mouth move, but my body felt completely frozen. I wanted nothing more than to run out of that room as fast as I could. The doctor handed me a pamphlet on donor eggs and told me that I needed to act quickly in order to have any chance at IVF. (Goodness, some doctors should really consider a different profession or at least take some classes on bedside manner).

Side note: This story is the very reason why I am so passionate about providing compassionate, holistic, and individualized therapy for women and teen girls in Lake Mary, Florida. Women should not be treated like just another number, or treated in a one size fits all approach. They shouldn’t be told to just “stress less,” and then sent home with a pamphlet or handout that was printed off of Pinterest. Okay sorry, I got sidetracked there. All that to say, when you meet with me you get a built in advocate for you to get quality care and to be taken seriously by all of your medical providers.

Diminished Ovarian Reserve Treatment

Back to my National Infertility Awareness story, I have never been one to make decisions quickly. I dislike being rushed and like to make big decisions with a lot of prayer, with wise counsel, and waiting until I feel a sense of peace. As much as I knew that the doctor was likely correct in that time was not in my favor, I just didn’t feel peace about jumping right into IVF. I did however decide to move forward with genetic testing, and an HSG to see if my fallopian tubes were open. I also really wanted to pursue more holistic ways to heal my body at any chance of conceiving naturally.

Holistic Fertility Treatment & National Infertility Awareness Week

I immediately did what every girl just diagnosed with infertility does. I ordered, “It Starts With the Egg” and wanted to educate myself on ways I could naturally treat my infertility. Then I bought all the recommended supplements for Low Ovarian Reserve and High FSH, started twice weekly acupuncture and guzzled down horrific tasting Chinese herbs. I did a complete overhaul of my beauty and cleaning products and eliminated all fragrance and toxic chemicals that could impact my hormones.

I went for a second opinion at another fertility clinic, and this doctor was much more hopeful than the first doctor. As much as I loved him and his optimism, I still didn’t have peace about starting fertility treatments. I told him that I just wanted three more months to get my body healthier and then I’d be back to consider next steps.

Low AMH High FSH Natural Pregnancy

During those three months of really working on my gut health, hormones, and trying to live a more non-toxic lifestyle, I also really sought God like never before. My faith has always been very important to me and it served as a huge comfort to me during this time. I always said that Infertility feels like darkness, with no end in sight most of the time. It’s filled with so much uncertainty and so much is out of your control. I knew I needed God to shine His light into our situation, and I prayed in faith for a miracle. After about three months of making all of these changes, our prayers were answered and I became pregnant naturally. I was so incredibly thankful, excited, nervous, yet hopeful.

Missed Miscarriage Story

Sadly, at 9 weeks I had a missed miscarriage. The pain and grief of miscarriage was excruciating. I wanted this pregnancy more than anything, and to have my prayers answered only to lose the pregnancy really tested my faith. It was in the pain and grief of infertility and pregnancy loss that my faith in God had to become more than just something I felt. It had to be something I believed even when my circumstances were far from good. I chose to cling to God’s word and to believe that He is good, even in sorrow and death. His character never changes. Grief taught my heart to rest in the Comforter.

Adoption Journey & Adoption Process in Florida

Following my miscarriage, my husband and I experienced more unexpected loss within our family and really needed time to grieve and heal. It was a long season of grief. During that time, we sought God like never before. I remember asking God for wisdom and discernment on what His will for our marriage was regarding growing our family. In time, we felt our hearts slowly opening up to the idea of adoption. (And I mean slowly.

Oh how I remember hearing those well meaning, but still equally insensitive and annoying comments and questions from others, “Have you thought about adopting)?” The more we sought God and chose to surrender our will to His, the more His will became clear for us. We decided to take a step of faith by calling some local adoption consultants in Florida to just gather some information on the newborn adoption process. We viewed this step simply for what it was: to gather information. Nothing more, nothing less. That helped us not put pressure on ourselves to make a decision.

We continued to walk through the adoption process in Florida by taking more steps of faith. After meeting with the adoption consultants, we decided to take our next step of faith. We signed a contract with Evermore Adoption Consultants and only two weeks later we applied to our first case. (A case is where the adoption consultants send out an email of a potential adoptive situation with as much or as little information as they have about the child and birth parents).

Adoption Florida- Chosen!

We received a call two weeks after applying that we were chosen by our daughter’s birth mother to be her adoptive parents. Nothing can ever prepare you for that phone call. SHOCK, pure shock. We didn’t speak for what felt like an eternity and just stared at one another in disbelief. We couldn’t believe that after waiting and grieving for years through infertility and loss, that in a matter of weeks our whole lives had changed and we would be parents.

My daughter is now four years old. I cannot imagine a life without her. She has brought joy and laughter back into our lives. I think it’s important to acknowledge that adoption did not cure my infertility. Nor did it erase the pain of infertility. It simply was the means that God had for us to become parents.

Christian Infertility & Adoption Therapist Lake Mary, Florida

If you’re in the Lake Mary, Florida area (or online throughout the state of Florida with online counseling), and are seeking counseling services tailored to women’s mental health and infertility challenges (or are pursuing adoption), I’d love to support you! Women should not be facing infertility alone. When you choose to work with me, you’re not just getting therapy. You’re gaining a dedicated advocate. I’m here to ensure you receive quality care and that your voice is respected by all your medical providers.

Please email me here and lets get you the support you need.

Read more about infertility and loss counseling in Lake Mary, Sanford, Oviedo, Orlando FL and the surrounding Central Florida area https://christinamilazzocounseling.com/infertility-and-grief

• Hormones and Anxiety: A Holistic Approach For Women
• The Two Week Wait (IVF)- Anxiety, Coping, and Christian Hope
• National Infertility Awareness Week- My Fertility Story
• Infertility Mental Health Counseling: The Mental Health Effects
• Infertility Ruined My Marriage. Healing Together.